A Quick Thought Experiment

on Roe

I hadn’t expected my first substack to be such a personal story, but here we are in 2022 looking at the potentially catastrophic decision by the Supreme Court to overturn Roe V. Wade.

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I had just moved with my husband to our first military duty station. Away from my home state, my family, friends and doctors. I was 34 weeks pregnant with my first child. We had just painted the nursery and unpacked the room preparing for her arrival.

I noticed she had stopped moving. The frequent kicks and tumbles I was always startled by, but thoroughly enjoyed had stopped.

The triage nurse brought in the ultrasound. The nurse looked scared. She tried to find the baby’s heartbeat for what seemed like forever. Finally, I looked at her and said, “just go get the doctor honey, it’s okay.” I felt bad for her.

I was induced for labor to deliver my first child that afternoon. Two and a half days later it was time to push. Adrenaline brought on by shock and devastating emotional pain is a powerful thing.

My daughter was born at 2:32 pm. She was 4lbs 7oz. She never opened her eyes.

My daughter was stillborn. A knot in the umbilical cord had tightened, cutting off her oxygen and blood flow. They classified it as a True Knot which is an extremely rare occurrence to have result in fetal demise.

The tragedy I experienced was and still is, unbearable. However, without the protections of Roe, and the privacy it granted me, it potentially could have been worse. There is far more to consider outside of the typical arguments that people without direct experience simply do not understand, or they just don’t care to.

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Now I want you to imagine my story above without the protections of Roe V. Wade.

Instead of being able to hold my little girl before being put in a wheelchair to roll her down to the hospital morgue, what could have happened to me? Could I have been interrogated? Investigated for her death?

Teodora Vásquez , a woman who in 2008 was sentenced to 30 years in prison after she had a stillbirth at nine months pregnant. El Salvador has enforced a total ban on abortions since 1998, and dozens of people have been convicted and imprisoned after having miscarriages, stillbirths and other obstetric emergencies in the Central American country.

I’m not suggesting America is like El Salvador, but I am suggesting that those who have fought to overturn the landmark decision a century ago might just be zealots who fantasize the concept of such things.

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Last time: I want you to imagine my story, without the protections of Roe V. Wade, but this time imagine I’m not married, and I’m not white.

Minority women most affected if abortion is banned, limited

A mother’s guilt and grief in moments of unbearable tragedy interrupted by unwarranted accusations and interrogations. That doesn’t sound like freedom to me.

America do better. Women deserve better than this.